My living Place

I haven’t lived in many cities in the quarter years of my life, but the one thing that I have figured out is that I want to live in a city where I do not feel any inhibition or the lack of motivation to walk around aimlessly. It is a personal feeling of choice that I am talking about here. I realised that I will not be able to walk around Chennai just for the heck of it, after barring the weather effect on me. Even on the shores of the beach, I wouldn’t want to walk by myself. There is something unappealing and appalling about that idea. Whereas, in Bangalore, it is definitely about the familiarity of the city that pumps me up.

London was the place I found this concept to be true in my case. I am not a wanderer. I am not an explorer. My hand would probably be the last one to shoot up if anyone suggested a walk around the place. But after the “tourist visit” of the city was over, I was so comfortable walking by myself, with no rhyme or reason. I would have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to meet, be alone, and feel like the last person standing, or rolling on the grass, on earth but still be fine with my environment. I have need to live in a place where I can be, just be.

Tense

Lust and Committment are single tense

It’s just hard!

:(

One-O-One

I am changing... Very slowly. I can feel it now more than ever. The things I used to do, now give me no joy and the things I said are kept under a tight leash. For one, I used to shower upon my loved ones the phrase "I love you." Either with family or the person I am in love with (Note: in Love at the moment) or friends whom I dearly love and adore. But now those words stuggle to leave my mouth. Its like I dont feel it, I dont say it and the funniest part is that I havent felt like telling it to anyone in ages. Am I full of myself right now? May be? Do I want to be this way? May be not! I dont like this cat on the wall phase that I am in. Infuriating!!!

(P.s. I also think I am beginning to like mush! but that does not account for corny teenage one liners.. thats just unpardonable. I should have named this bloody introspection one O one)

Just a small one that I thought I should write:

What is love that hath no kisses,
caresses of the finger tips
what is love that hath no rhymes,
mimicry of a poet's times
what is love that hath no distance,
a blatant debalcle of desparation
what is love that hath no question,
its answer contained within.

Tattoos

Basically, I would love to get these two, or either one of the two tattoos on my back. I think they look cute. But I wonder if there is any other tattoo that I would really want on me?!?! For now, one of these!

Interospection 2

After 24 years of living, I have just realised that I don’t know myself completely. I have very recently figured out that if I get obsessed with something I can go on and on about it! Ok well, I knew that already but here is the deal and this one is new. I never thought I could be possessive about some person because I always knew I was important to them. But this time, even though I know that I could potentially be a person of importance in their life, I felt possessive about them. It just did not feel right, it did not feel me!

Sand

What am I doing here? I really have no idea… This whole career plan, life’s plan is sucking the living life out of me.

I want to scream and shout,

Cry and pout

Life seems like a goner,

Every time I turn a corner

Younger kids they already know

Not swinging to and fro

By far a mile I land

Scratches and bruises my head stuck in sand

Ok I can’t write more.